Everyday I heard Myself Saying: Why can't this feeling just go away?

Is this how it's meant to turn out? That I look at her and want her and she turned her back refusing even the friendship- in place of the love- which I laid outstretched on two sincere hands.

Is that the her who is trying to convince herself that she does not need me in her life or is it the honest her all along who is trying very hard to let me see from her perspective that this relationship is a mistake to start from the beginning? I am trapped in this veil of darkness that she has put up or me. The objects and surroundings have a vague outline to trace with and it soon merge into a thin line of uncertainty and loss.

I can't remember the last time that I have had a good sleep. It's been way way too long and to be really honest, I am slowly giving way to this warped up emotions. My heart is on a downward spiral hurtling itself madly, wildly down the cavern and now, my physical shell too. I felt the weight on my shoulders increasing in density; my legs are wavering unsteadily beaneath it. My heart is faint, my head pounding, my breathing ragged, my eyes a little shadowy beneath. So much so that I am starting this blog as a outlet for release. I hope it helps. I am crossing my fingers really hard.